Building Your Control Model: Where Do You Spend Your Time?

control zone infographicFocusing on variables beyond your control can be a drain on your time, your thoughts, your emotions and your clarity. Fulfilled, happy people are aware of what’s beyond their control, and they don’t allow it to create stress. When an outside event affects their lives, they quickly discern, “Is this something I can control? Is this something I can influence? Or, is this truly something I cannot control and cannot influence?”

Many of us try to control the events around us. Although we can influence many events and maybe control some, the only things we have absolute control over are ourselves and our emotional responses. For example, two people can have the same experience and yet one may decide his life is over as a result, while the other decides to use the event as a catalyst for growth and achievement.

“Nothing in life has any meaning except the meaning you give it.”
—Anthony Robbins

Fulfillment flows from taking ownership of what things mean to you, even the uncontrollable ones. It’s the ultimate control you have. But simply assigning meaning is not enough—the secret is to find an empowering meaning in anything that happens in your life.

Consider all the factors you cannot control, but that you can influence. You can very often influence the opinions, and of those you care about most, those you do business with, and you can influence certain events. But you must be realistic about these things you cannot control: You can’t control other people’s opinions and you can’t control other people’s behavior, no matter how hard you try. Some people may even be beyond your influence.

Whenever you find yourself feeling out of control, ask yourself:

  • How can I focus my energy on those things I can control and influence?
  • What empowering meanings can be drawn from this event? How do these meanings contribute to a life that is not only fulfilling for me, but that also benefits others?
  • What steps do I take to let go of the things that are causing me to experience stress—those things I can’t control?

If you’ve built your control model and looking to make more time for what you truly love, get afree download of the first session of Tony’s Time of Your Life 10-Day Audio Coaching System at //

“Tony Robbins has the ability to break down the old patterns that prevent you from being your true self. Once you find that you are no longer dictated by old beliefs, you are on the road to creating joy, true happiness and success in all areas of your life.”
—Mariel Hemingway, Oscar-Nominated Actress and Author of Healthy Living from the Inside Out


  1. In light of this past week’s bombing and manhunt for terrorists, it’s been very interesting to see how people respond. Some watch TV constantly, giving all control of themselves and their emotions to whatever news anchor is speaking. Others rail ineffectually against the evil events taking place in the world on Facebook or other social media. And then others jump in to help in any way they can. And yet others work for peace. I can see how the six human needs come into play when responding. Asking these three questions brings us back to the reality that we can all choose our response to events. Thanks for this!

    Sandi Gordon on April 20th 2013
  2. Simple but yet very powerful rule, in life coaching and
    on daily life as well.
    what we focus on is what we get.
    what do you want to get? focus on that.

    Ophir on April 15th 2013
  3. How can I focus my energy on those things I can control and influence?

    My life planner as I am my creator and master of my fate.
    The environment and books I read to inspire.
    My health and states of emotions.

    What empowering meanings can be drawn from this event? How do these meanings contribute to a life that is not only fulfilling for me, but that also benefits others?

    My energy flows where I focus. If I intend to start on a life journey of fulfillment I must have rituals to back up my standards. How I do anything is how I do everything. And how I respond to life is based on my beliefs. In order to feel like a winner I must have rules that are easy to feel good and make it hard to feel bad. I get most certain whenever I create an empowering identity that allows me to distance myself from the old patterns that disempowered to new empowering patterns of behaviour. If you just change the label of your role in anything than you can immediately change your state and your direction in life. Keep it consistent and time will tell the truth. You do have an inner voice that guides you? Yes, ofcourse and everyone has this inner power within them, but you do have to tap into this ultimate power with awareness. It can be identified in silence and solitude or in a fun environment like the UPW by Tony Robbins. This event is packed with instructional guidance for changing your attitude that will ultimately change your life. Go to this event and you’ll get three and a half days of immersion of crucial strategies to change your physiology and physiology for life. It will awaken the purpose in you and ignite a desire to contribute more to life through voluntary service. You can’t miss it, especially if you are in Europe there is an event in May, on the 10th to 14th in London, UK. You will learn to breakthrough disempowering beliefs, move your physiology and focus towards your goals and dreams instantly, and empower yourself with advise on health and fitness. This is the most inspiring event I have ever seen and been to in my life.

    What steps do I take to let go of the things that are causing me to experience stress—those things I can’t control?

    Drop all alcohol beverages from your diet becauses its poision, according to the pH balance test you’ll cause acidity in your internal environment. Keep away from smokers because of carcinogens that are toxic to the body, mind, and emotions. And too often, sugars are what turn the system off completely from any electricity to flow through out our bodies, so push away those sweets contaminated with chemicals.

    Some alternatives are using salt with water, lemon with water, and lots of green leafs, grasses and sprouts on your dish to cut that craving for sweets. The best solution is going on a 7 days cleanse eliminating all toxins from your body, and then you’ll free a desire to eat nutritous foods with minerals.

    I hope not to offend anyone reading my comment, although I have followed simple principles that made me feel great, calm, and focused on what is most important. It does make a difference being responsible. And you’ll have so much more energy for life, enjoying it fully at any moment because you’ll be clear about what it happening in your life.

    Live with passion

    Jakub LIBUDA on April 8th 2013
  4. I read abt empowering meaning to take your life to the next level” YET can’t seem to be able to find&implement that idea!!! It’s like I got stuck YEARS AGO OVER A SERIES OF EVENT, Then all of a sudden I found myself TRYING TO FIND MYSELF!!:( I wish to hear from Tony on how to UNTANGLE myself from the web that I somehow weaved myself into!!:(

    Shola on April 6th 2013
  5. Thank you Tony you have always taught us interesting things

    sasa on April 5th 2013
  6. Taking responsibility for my attitude is the primary impetus for ultimate control. If you think that it is the outside world that is annoying you than you must change it now by focusing on ourself. The next step is to ignite with a empowering meaning that will take your game to the next level.

    PATRICK LIBUDA on April 5th 2013
  7. cant afforad, no money

    mbye njie on April 4th 2013

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