Focusing on variables beyond your control can be a drain on your time, your thoughts, your emotions and your clarity. Fulfilled, happy people are aware of what’s beyond their control, and they don’t allow it to create stress. When an outside event affects their lives, they quickly discern, “Is this something I can control? Is this something I can influence? Or, is this truly something I cannot control and cannot influence?”
Many of us try to control the events around us. Although we can influence many events and maybe control some, the only things we have absolute control over are ourselves and our emotional responses. For example, two people can have the same experience and yet one may decide his life is over as a result, while the other decides to use the event as a catalyst for growth and achievement.
“Nothing in life has any meaning except the meaning you give it.”
Fulfillment flows from taking ownership of what things mean to you, even the uncontrollable ones. It’s the ultimate control you have. But simply assigning meaning is not enough—the secret is to find an empowering meaning in anything that happens in your life.
Consider all the factors you cannot control, but that you can influence. You can very often influence the opinions, and of those you care about most, those you do business with, and you can influence certain events. But you must be realistic about these things you cannot control: You can’t control other people’s opinions and you can’t control other people’s behavior, no matter how hard you try. Some people may even be beyond your influence.
Whenever you find yourself feeling out of control, ask yourself:
- How can I focus my energy on those things I can control and influence?
- What empowering meanings can be drawn from this event? How do these meanings contribute to a life that is not only fulfilling for me, but that also benefits others?
- What steps do I take to let go of the things that are causing me to experience stress—those things I can’t control?
If you’ve built your control model and looking to make more time for what you truly love, get afree download of the first session of Tony’s Time of Your Life 10-Day Audio Coaching System at //www.tonyrobbins.com/more-time.
“Tony Robbins has the ability to break down the old patterns that prevent you from being your true self. Once you find that you are no longer dictated by old beliefs, you are on the road to creating joy, true happiness and success in all areas of your life.”
—Mariel Hemingway, Oscar-Nominated Actress and Author of Healthy Living from the Inside Out
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