We’re continuing our exploration of metaprograms, the filters through which we communicate and influence others. In earlier posts in this series we looked at how to determine:
- if someone is moving toward or away from things
- whether they have an internal or external frame of reference
- how a person sorts themselves in relation to other people
- if they are a matcher or a mismatcher
Now we’re going to look at factors involved in convincing someone, and this strategy has two parts. To figure out what consistently convinces someone, you must first find out what sensory building blocks he or she needs to become convinced, and then you must discover how often that person has to receive these stimuli before becoming convinced.
How do you know when someone else is good at a job?
a) see them or watch them do it
b) hear about how good they are
c) do it with them
d) read about their ability
The answer may be a combination of these. You may believe someone’s good when you see him do a good job and when other people tell you he’s good.
How often does someone have to demonstrate he’s good before you’re convinced?
b) a number of times
c) over a period of time
With some people, if you can prove your love once, you’ve proved it forever. With others, you have to prove it every day.
If you’re the head of an organization, one of the most valuable states you can achieve with your key workers is trust and rapport. If they know you care about them, they’ll work harder and better for you. If they don’t trust you, they won’t deliver for you.
Part of establishing trust is being attentive to the different needs of different people. Some people will establish a relationship and maintain it. If they know that you play fair and that you care about them, you can establish a bond that will last until you do something to betray it.
This doesn’t work for everyone. Some workers need more than that, whether it’s a kind word, an approving memo, a show of public support, or an important task to perform. They may be just as loyal and just as talented, but they need more verification from you than other people do. They need more proof that the bond between you still holds.
Any good salesperson knows customers he only had to sell to once, and they were customers forever. Other people have to see the product two or three times before they decide to buy, while for others maybe six months can pass before there is a need to sell to them again. Then of course there is the salesman’s “favorite”—the person who has used your product for years, and every time you come in, wants to know again why they should use it. They have to be shown every time.
The same process plays out with even greater intensity in personal relationships. Some people require constant conviction, while others need few reminders. The value in metaprograms is that they provide you with the game plan to understand each other, and in turn understand how to consistently convince someone of your product, performance or relationship.
Next in this series: possibility versus necessity
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